Exactly How to Use a Butt Plug

Butt plugs are great during penetrative play if you enjoy the sensation of feeling full or stuffed. “The anal canal and vaginal canal are next-door neighbors, so when you put a butt plug in, it decreases the width of the vaginal canal,” explains Sinclair. This increases the chances that your partner will hit your G-Spot. And if your partner has a penis, it can create more pressure that feels good along their shaft, she adds.

“It makes the play a more full-body experience,” she says. Plus, if the butt plug is long enough, it may even hit your A-spot (also known as the anterior fornix erogenous zone), which is located a few inches deeper than the G-spot in the vaginal canal and can be reached during anal penetration. You just might get to experience the coveted blended orgasm. (Related: 7 Different Types of Orgasms You Probably Didn’t Know You Could Have)

This is called “anal training” and entails teaching the anal sphincter how to relax by slowly increasing the size of your butt plug (over the course of weeks or months!) until you’re ready for penetrative anal sex. There are kits like the b-Vibe Beginners Anal Training Kit (Buy It, $65, bvibe) and the Blush azon) made for this exact use.

Sinclair compares receiving oral sex while wearing a butt plug to receiving oral sex while having your nipples played with

you probably don’t actually want to get… dirty. So, let’s not beat around the bush and get the poop question out of the way. Here’s the deal: Waste is stored in your upper bowel, not in your anal canal where the butt plug will be hanging out, so any fecal fears you have are pretty groundless, according to Sinclair. You can do a little pre- or post-clean-up with a fragrance- and chemical-free wet wipe or a shower, if you want. (See more: How to Prepare for Anal Sex, According to Experts)

Ready to get down to business? If you remember one thing from this article on how to use a butt plug, make it this: Never use a butt plug without lube. “The anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina is, so having some on hand is a must,” says Stubbs.

And remember, “while butt plugs don’t have to equal anal sex, they are a great way to work up to anal sex, if that’s something you and your partner might want to try,” says Sinclair

Keep in mind that silicone-based lubes aren’t compatible with silicone-based toys – silicone attracts to itself, so using the two together can warp your plug and create a tacky texture. That’s why, if you’re using a silicone plug, you should use a water-based lube, says Sinclair.

If you’re using a glass or stainless steel plug, though, silicone lubricant is a great option because it’s thicker and typically lasts longer, says Sinclair. (Related: Why I’m Obsessed with This Stainless Steel G-Spot Sex Toy)

Lube isn’t the only essential ingredient in how to use a butt plug pleasurably; you also need foreplay to help prep the body for insertion. “You wouldn’t go from kissing to vaginal penetration, would you?” asks Sinclair. Follow that same principle for butt plug use, and then go three to ten times slower, she says.

Then, when it’s time to insert, lube up the anus and the toy, inhale, and slowly press the butt plug to your anus. The best position for inserting a butt plug comes down to personal preference. Stubbs says that if your partner is putting it in, lifted missionary or doggy style work well. If you’re inserting a butt plug yourself, you might try putting it in like a tampon (by bending over and then going between your legs). Now that it’s in? Enjoy! (BTW: No, anal sex isn’t supposed to hurt.)