Rough sex is really about being in the right state of mind
Rough sex is really about being in the right state of mind If you’re a nice person outside of the bedroom, it may feel hard to tap into that raw, animalistic energy that rough sex requires. One way to work around this is to roleplay. If you feel like you’re just playing a character, it may be easier to let loose. You can set up a specific roleplay scenario with your partner. Pick something that has a natural power imbalance, like a teacher/student dyad. Or you can try simply envisioning yourself as someone else, like a celebrity or a character in a movie. Talk dirty If you feel a little nervous about getting physically rough, you can always start with dirty talk. Talking dirty can be just as arousing and intense, without any fear of drawing blood or leaving a bruise. Here are some examples of different types to get started with: Talk about what you want to do to your partner, or what you’re going to do to them. For example, “You’re mine tonight. I’m going to have my way with you.” Boss your partner around. “Get down there and lick my clit right now.” Be withholding. “Oh, you want to come? Too bad.” Talking dirty is also a great way to reaffirm that you have permission from your partner. (Remember, consent conversations should always come first.) If you’re nervous about springing something on them in the moment, you can say something like, “Do you need to be spanked?” Or, “You like that? You want me to go harder?” Ease your way into it As with all new sexual activities, I recommend starting small. Give yourself time to get comfortable. You don’t have to go all-in on rough sex, especially if you’ve never tried it before, or don’t naturally relate to that kind of energy. Here are some ways to experiment. Read through the list with your partner and identify one or two that sound most intriguing to you both: Go harder, deeper, or faster. You can up the intensity with kissing, touching, manual stimulation, oral sex, intercourse, or toy play by thinking of the quality of your motions: as you touch your partner, think to yourself, “how hard, fast or deep am I going?” Try rotating between each of these three qualities. Spank your partner. The best place to start spanking is right in the middle of the butt cheek. It’s a well-padded area, so it doesn’t cause a lot of pain. It also makes a nice satisfying sound! Keep your fingers loosely together, and aim to make the most contact with your fingertips. Scratch your partner. Good places for scratching include the back, the butt, and the neck. Curl your fingers, and gently drag them like a rake across your partner’s skin. Pull your partner’s hair. Take your hand rake and drag it up your partner’s neck, into their hair. Curl your fingers tighter so you grab onto their hair. Slowly increase your pressure into a nice squeeze. Bite your partner. Aim for fleshy parts of your partner’s body. Take their skin in between your teeth and gradually increase the pressure for a second or two. Restrain your partner. Pull your partner’s hands above their head while they’re lying flat on the bed, and hold them there with one or both of your hands. With anything you do, pay attention to how your partner is receiving it. They can always use their safeword, but it’s still important for you to keep an eye out for negative reactions. If you’re not sure if their grimace is a...
read moreThere is no sustained interplay, absolutely no substrate on which to grow any relationships
There is no sustained interplay, absolutely no substrate on which to grow any relationships More useful and, hence, probably less exciting, would be the ability to chat with strangers that had a shared interest I just tried it and found the experience incredibly jarring. I can’t remember being that affected by something in a long, long time. I don’t know how it will evolve but I’m fascinated to see what happens. Remember: all new media types start with porn.For some reason I’m reminded of an old John Hodgman radio piece ( asking which superpower you’d rather have: flight or invisibility. Each has its own potential, and its own temptations. (Also: flight is who you think you want to be, invisibility is who you fear you probably are.) If Twitter gives you the power of flight, Chatroulette gives you the power of invisibility. Which will most people choose? there’s a quote about art that i don’t think it can get right, but it’s something like if it impacts you, it’s art. “Any form of art is a form of power; it has impact, it can affect change it can not only move us, it makes us move.” Ossie Davissomething like that? It can be “intimate” with an absolute stranger-It’s the Craiglist of the Social Web, minimal and a rejection of all the heavy trappings of social ties that all other networks work to build-It’s frivolous, it’s cheap, it’s deep, it’s all those things and more It’s a very true quote. type of thing that always rings true once you getinvolved in the process of making stuff… Not just in terms of protection against say, sexual activity or heavy sexual innuendo, but how long until someone inadvertently stumbles upon a crime being committed, a suicide, or something simply purposefully and willfully disturbing? oh, have you seen the “Great hatsby project”. It basically goes through livejournal, finds two random screennames and connects them together with a screenname in the middle. I have a hard enough time avoiding idiots in day-to-day contact. Why would I actively seek them out?In seriousness, this doesn’t seem like a super healthy concept to me. my sense is that the amount of unsavory content in any online community is directly proportional to the level of anonymity it allows. if there were a service like this that verified accounts or had a way to rank users as good or bad members of the community, it could go a long way towards eliminating the creepy guy masturbating on couch element. You got him as well? Got to admire his endurance, I guess. ;-)Seriously though – yes, I agree.I have always believed this – verification/transparency – to be a pre-requisite to commenting in any online community. Is this not a form of anti-community? Which reminds me of a clever phrase about community that I read on theoildrumThings that grow together work together This is all tied to the emerging backlash from a younger generation that has grown up staring at their computer screens connecting with people they already now. These young people will grow up with a visceral desire to connect with strangers and there will be a bevy of tools that allows them to do so. Some in a “disturbing” way and others in a very useful way. The fact that people in middle school could become obsessed with this tool demonstrates where we are heading.. escort Garden Grove. Here’s why I find Chatroulette a compelling service. -It’s Raw: no authority, control or moderation of the channel-It Promotes Social Serendipity, you never know what you’re going to find. This unknown...
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